Thoughts of Thursday, July 11, 2013: On Correction

So, I love cooking shows. They are excellent late-night companions when Eliza and I are up hanging out in the wee hours. Last week, after the recommendation of a friend, I watched a pretty interesting one that has had me thinking ever since I saw it.

The show I watched was an episode of "Kitchen Nightmares" with Gordon Ramsey. The premise of the show is that Gordon--a famous chef and TV personality with multiple successful and Michelin-starred restaurants--goes to some restaurant that is in dire straits and helps them turn it all around. There can be drama with the food, the atmosphere, the staff, what have you. At the beginning, the audience gets a feel for the problems in the restaurant, and then Gordon comes in. At first he tries out a bunch of things from the menu and makes observations, and then he tells them what's wrong with their restaurant and starts in with an action plan to fix it. Part of the reason the show is entertaining is because Gordon Ramsey has a very intense personality--he can sound extremely critical, but ultimately, he does know his stuff.

Last week I watched an episode that featured a restaurant in Arizona. It was run by a couple who had put it together since it was always the wife's dream to own her own restaurant. The restaurant outwardly looked fine, and they even kept a clean kitchen (which is not always the case on the show), but there were big problems not only with the meals the restaurant was putting out but also the way the couple were interacting with their staff and customers. It was outrageous! The wife, who was the main chef, would send out food that was under-cooked or bad in some way, and then if there were any complaints from the customers, they would get told off by her and husband. They'd yell, "Fine! You don't like it? Leave! Don't you ever come back here!" At the beginning of the show, you even saw this guy who had been waiting for a pizza for over an hour come up to complain, and the owner completely freaked out at him--yelling and carrying on, and they almost got into a fight. Literally the Kitchen Nightmares cameraman had to intervene--you could see him out there mediating with all his tech equipment on. It was crazy. The restaurant had gone through more than 100 staff members in a year from the crazy way they would interact with their waiters too, not letting them keep tips, and firing them at the tiniest miscommunication.

So Gordon Ramsey comes in there, and at first everything seems good. They are pleasant with him. He sits down and orders a bunch of things from the menu to try and chats with the waitress. Things progress though--everything he tries is disgusting and he learns that about the waitress's bad deal working there. But then he tries to go and talk to the owner couple about it and it is INSANE. The wife especially absolutely REFUSES to believe or listen to anything that Ramsey is telling her. Gordon says, "The pizza crust I tried was completely raw," and she's like, "You're wrong! You're crazy! People say that is the BEST PIZZA they have ever eaten!!" She just goes on and on and on. Gordon observes the dinner rush, and is appalled by the nasty food they are sending out, talks with the customers about their bad experiences, etc. He tells the couple that he wants to meet with them again the next day. But when he comes in, the couple seriously has both guns BLAZING. It is awful! They just yell and carry on about how Gordon's wrong, how all the restaurant critics are wrong, how all the customers are wrong, how all the restaurant critics are wrong and how everyone is out to get them. They absolutely REFUSE to take any form of criticism.

It gets so bad--they are literally so charged and indignant--that finally Gordon Ramsey just leaves. He's like, "obviously I can't do anything here" and he's gone. It's the first time in over 100 episodes that he's had to quit on the restaurant. And the show just ended after you watch his crew take down all the cameras and Gordon gives a little spiel about what a waste it all is.

So that really got me thinking a lot.

Here was a couple that had the chance to have their restaurant helped and improved by GORDON RAMSEY. And really not only Gordon, but his team of helper people who come in and help do up the restaurant. The guy has MICHELIN STARS. He is the main judge on MASTERCHEF. He has MULTIPLE cooking shows. He has turned around over 100 restaurants that were going down the drain. Yet this couple, due to their absolute refusal to accept any form of criticism, misses out on that incredible opportunity. They could have become wildly successful, but they just can't take a few minutes of him pointing out the weaknesses in their food and their operations.

The general principles here are ones I want to remember. I know that I am not very good at taking criticism. Whenever people point out my flaws, I become very defensive and take things very personally. I certainly don't lash out in the way this couple did, but normally I inwardly resent criticism and consider reasons why the person giving it to me is "wrong." I'm probably not alone on this. I want to learn though to change my perspective though and remember this couple. Instead of just focusing on the hurt of the criticism, I want to remember that criticism is given so that the person can see how they can improve and become better. How sad would it be to miss out on the opportunity to learn from someone like Gordon Ramsey and become a master at something simply because it was too hard to take a little criticism at the start.

Life lessons a la Kitchen Nightmares.